Trapped in Ourselves

It's that time of the semester when we are praying that we can hang on for a few more days - just get through the final papers and exams and then have a breather. It's hard to find time for sleep, exercise, or perhaps just hanging out with friends. It's that end of the semester push.

When we find ourselves overwhelmed by all there is to do, it's easy for us to get trapped inside ourselves. We are the center of it all. Everything else gets pushed aside so that we can get it all done. Yet, as Christians we are called to be focused on the world, on others. One sure way to get through these coming days without too much pain is to take the focus off all our own worries and fears and stress, and put some of that focus on others.

There is a prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi that will be a good thing to pray each day in the coming couple weeks.

Lord, make me an instrument of they peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Thoughts concerning the Virginia Tech community

Each one of us has been horrified, saddened, angry, or shocked by the tragic shootings at Virginia Tech on Monday. Some of us at this particular campus community have even lost close friends and loved ones. It is an event which touches us all, in many different ways. It is a time when we know that we need God's presence, but we may not even be sure how we can connect with God or with other Christians.

It's also a time we want to do something - anything - that can help. And we know there isn't much we can do. Yet, we can offer prayers. We can listen and support those who have lost a loved one. We can reach out to those who are lonely or different or outcast. We can seek to share God's love in all the many large and small ways Jesus taught us.

Sharing God's love, reaching out to others in love and connecting with them - it's at the very heart of a life of faith. When we love people, and then they are no longer with us, it's one of the most difficult and painful times we will ever know. It's something where the pain never fully goes away - it just deadends and grows smaller so that we can remember the good and joyful times we have shared in the past. Here is a quote from a Christian writer about what it's like to lose one we love.

"Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built. If you haven’t already, you will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships." --Anne Lamott

Let us pray that all those who are grieving now will one day again learn to dance to that minuet.

Living in the aftermath of Easter

This past Sunday was Easter - the most important day of the entire Christian year. It's a day when we celebrate that Christ has risen from the dead; when we celebrate that death does not have the final victory. We spend time with our families and loved ones, eat great food, and smell the wonderful flowers around us. It is a day of great joy.

Yet, inspite of this day of great joy, we know that our lives continue. We are still without loved ones who have gone before us. People still suffer from illness, both large and small. Relationships continue to be broken. Life is not perfect, and oftentimes it's not even halfway easy or peaceful.

The Easter promise and joy does not mean that we won't deal with all the harsh realities of life. It doesn't mean that bad things won't happen to us or to those whom we love. What Easter does mean is that Jesus Christ understood what it means to suffer and die. Jesus knows what we endure as humans, and his Spirit will help us through whatever we encounter. We have that assurance that God is always with us, especially during the painful times.

Henri Nouwen wrote these words in Show Me the Way, "Easter season is a time of hope. There still is fear, there still is a painful awareness of sinfulness, but there also is light breaking through. Something new is happening, something that goes beyond the changing moods of our life. We can be joyful or sad, optimistic or pessimistic, tranquil or angry, but the solid stream of God's presence moves deeper than the small waves of our minds and hearts. Easter brings the awareness that God is present even when his presence is not directly noticed. Easter brings the good news that, although things seem to get worse in the world, the Evil One has already been overcome. Easter allows us to affirm that although God seems very distant and although we remain preoccupied with many little things, our Lord walks with us on the road and keeps explaining the Scriptures to us. Thus there are many rays of hope casting their light on our way through life."

Holy Week

This is a very important week in the life of the church - Holy Week. The week began with Palm Sunday, will go through Jesus' last few days, his crucifixion on Good Friday, and then the resurrection on Easter Sunday.

I have always loved Palm Sunday. As a child, I can remember walking into the church, waving a palm branch and singing "Tell me the stories of Jesus." After having my own children, it has been so wonderful to see them walking down the church aisle and waving their palm branches. Palm Sunday is such a great day of celebration. Jesus is finally recognized as king, and the people of Jerusalem celebrate this. It's not really a grand parade - it's just a few score of people with some hastily clipped palm branches, a few cloaks on the roadway, and Jesus and a donkey. Jesus was never about glory and power - and this great day acknowledged that. Yet, when one remembers Palm Sunday - one can't help but feel that Jesus has finally arrived.

However, within a few days, everything had changed. Jesus had been arrested, tried for treason, and was awaiting his death. Most of his closest followers had deserted him, and only his mother, a couple women, and John were with him when he died. One Palm Sunday it seemed like the world was wide open, and within a few days it felt like the end of the world.

How often do we experience that? When have we felt ourselves on a mountaintop only to plunge into the darkest, deepest valley within a few days? Life is like that - we can go from great joy to great despair very quickly. It can seem like all is lost. It can feel like God is nowhere to be found.

As we go through those Good Fridays of our lives (and we all will, and more than once), it's important to keep the faith. It's vital that we remember that Easter Sunday is just around the corner - especially when it feels like the end of the world or that all is lost. During this Holy Week, go with Jesus through his Good Friday. Remember the times when God has seen you through the difficult places. Pray for those who are enduring those Good Fridays right now. And pray that we can all remember God's presence during those times.

From the darkest night, we have the assurance that Easter Sunday will always come.

The Gift of Saying No

There is a difficulty that many bright, active young people (just like each of you) have. It's hard to say no. There are so many things interesting things to do, so many things we want to do, and so many things we think we should do. At times we find ourselves saying yes far more than we should. We can end up overwhelmed and then not fully living up to the responsibilities that we have accepted.

Now common sense tells us that it's better to do a few things very well rather than a number of things poorly. And as a Christian, what do we think? The book of Ecclesiastes states in 4:6, "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." We also remember the story of Martha (Luke 10) who was so distracted with all the things she thought needed to be done, that she was missing out on spending time with Jesus.

It is much better for us to say no to certain things than to say yes when we will only do those things poorly, no matter our good intentions. It's important for us really to communicate with God about decisions we make. God will let us know our priorities and how we should spend our time. It is much more Christ-like to say no at times, than always to be a yes-person.

Next time you are asked to do something that will just not work in your life or priorities or for which you do not have time, just say no. Don't feel guilty. No one can do everything asked of them. God insituted the Sabbath - a time of rest when work was not done. It's a good and healthy and spiritual thing not always to be busy, but to select what will be done and at what time and to do it well.

I know it's not always easy to make a decision about saying no. Talk with your friends, your minister, mentors or other trusted people. And talk with God. When we are overwhelmed, they can help us see our own busy lives with more clarity.

Getting Homesick

I'm sure in the past few days you have heard about the 12 year old Boy Scout from Greensboro who was lost in the WNC mountains from last Saturday until Tuesday. It has been a heart-wrenching story and thankfully he has been found and seems to be in pretty good shape. Today's newspaper stated that he wandered away from the campsite because he was homesick and hoping to find a way home.

Certainly each one of us knows what it feels like to be homesick. It may have been that first day of kindergarten or college, at summer camp, or when we've moved to a new town. I remember when my family moved here from Asheville a little over 1 1/2 years ago. I was really homesick, even though my "home," my family, was with me.

There is also a different kind of homesickness. Near 1700 years ago, St. Augustine wrote, "Our hearts are restless until they find rest in you." As Christians, we know that God is our Home. Until we can find that rest in our Home, our hearts are restless and we are homesick. The homesickness is never really filled during this lifetime, but as we strive to journey along the Christian path, we do have those moments and days and even months when we are at home and at peace. There are so many times in our lives where we are searching, where we are looking for meaning. There are so many times that things don't feel quite right. We may try to fill that sick part of our heart with other things - relationships, alcohol, sex, shopping, staying busy, tv or other things that numb the pain temporarily. Yet, we know that God - and our relationship with God - is the only thing that really takes care of that pain, that provides us with a home for which we need not be sick.

When you're feeling homesick next, don't try to numb it with the things of this world. Spend time with God and with Christian sisters and brothers. Our homesickness will never fully go away during this lifetime - it will come and go in waves - but the only way to deal with it is to seek out God, our true Home.

Confession is good for the soul

Do you remember some time in your childhood when you did something you should not have done? And do you remember not wanting to be caught? Most parents at some point or another have scolded a child, "You better tell me the truth - it will be a lot better for you if you go ahead and confess it." All of us have sinned, done things we shouldn't do, and then hoped and even prayed we wouldn't be caught. It seems life would be so much easier if we could just push it under the rug and forget about it. But - the floor is still dirty under the rug.

I remember clearly shooting my brother in the behind with a bee-bee gun. I was 5 and he was 3, and to be honest - I really didn't think it was going to hurt him like it did. Yet, I knew immediately I shouldn't have done it. And I tried to act like I didn't do it. The guilt stayed with me, however, and I ended up confessing years later. Mom was understandably very angry - even more so because I had lied about it all those years (5 to be exact). I realized I should have confessed much earlier.

As we prepare for Easter during this season of Lent, one of the things we can do is confess. It's important that we think about where we have sinned (either actively or passively), to ask God for forgiveness (and another if we have harmed another), and to commit to head in a different direction. In Matthew 4:17, Jesus began his ministry by saying we are to repent. To repent means to turn in the opposite direction. When we have sinned, we should confess and ask God to help us head in the opposite way.

Confession is not an easy thing. It means we have to deal with circumstances we would rather avoid - but it is truly the way that leads us along the path of Jesus and towards the celebration of Easter.