The Gift of Saying No

There is a difficulty that many bright, active young people (just like each of you) have. It's hard to say no. There are so many things interesting things to do, so many things we want to do, and so many things we think we should do. At times we find ourselves saying yes far more than we should. We can end up overwhelmed and then not fully living up to the responsibilities that we have accepted.

Now common sense tells us that it's better to do a few things very well rather than a number of things poorly. And as a Christian, what do we think? The book of Ecclesiastes states in 4:6, "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." We also remember the story of Martha (Luke 10) who was so distracted with all the things she thought needed to be done, that she was missing out on spending time with Jesus.

It is much better for us to say no to certain things than to say yes when we will only do those things poorly, no matter our good intentions. It's important for us really to communicate with God about decisions we make. God will let us know our priorities and how we should spend our time. It is much more Christ-like to say no at times, than always to be a yes-person.

Next time you are asked to do something that will just not work in your life or priorities or for which you do not have time, just say no. Don't feel guilty. No one can do everything asked of them. God insituted the Sabbath - a time of rest when work was not done. It's a good and healthy and spiritual thing not always to be busy, but to select what will be done and at what time and to do it well.

I know it's not always easy to make a decision about saying no. Talk with your friends, your minister, mentors or other trusted people. And talk with God. When we are overwhelmed, they can help us see our own busy lives with more clarity.

Getting Homesick

I'm sure in the past few days you have heard about the 12 year old Boy Scout from Greensboro who was lost in the WNC mountains from last Saturday until Tuesday. It has been a heart-wrenching story and thankfully he has been found and seems to be in pretty good shape. Today's newspaper stated that he wandered away from the campsite because he was homesick and hoping to find a way home.

Certainly each one of us knows what it feels like to be homesick. It may have been that first day of kindergarten or college, at summer camp, or when we've moved to a new town. I remember when my family moved here from Asheville a little over 1 1/2 years ago. I was really homesick, even though my "home," my family, was with me.

There is also a different kind of homesickness. Near 1700 years ago, St. Augustine wrote, "Our hearts are restless until they find rest in you." As Christians, we know that God is our Home. Until we can find that rest in our Home, our hearts are restless and we are homesick. The homesickness is never really filled during this lifetime, but as we strive to journey along the Christian path, we do have those moments and days and even months when we are at home and at peace. There are so many times in our lives where we are searching, where we are looking for meaning. There are so many times that things don't feel quite right. We may try to fill that sick part of our heart with other things - relationships, alcohol, sex, shopping, staying busy, tv or other things that numb the pain temporarily. Yet, we know that God - and our relationship with God - is the only thing that really takes care of that pain, that provides us with a home for which we need not be sick.

When you're feeling homesick next, don't try to numb it with the things of this world. Spend time with God and with Christian sisters and brothers. Our homesickness will never fully go away during this lifetime - it will come and go in waves - but the only way to deal with it is to seek out God, our true Home.

Confession is good for the soul

Do you remember some time in your childhood when you did something you should not have done? And do you remember not wanting to be caught? Most parents at some point or another have scolded a child, "You better tell me the truth - it will be a lot better for you if you go ahead and confess it." All of us have sinned, done things we shouldn't do, and then hoped and even prayed we wouldn't be caught. It seems life would be so much easier if we could just push it under the rug and forget about it. But - the floor is still dirty under the rug.

I remember clearly shooting my brother in the behind with a bee-bee gun. I was 5 and he was 3, and to be honest - I really didn't think it was going to hurt him like it did. Yet, I knew immediately I shouldn't have done it. And I tried to act like I didn't do it. The guilt stayed with me, however, and I ended up confessing years later. Mom was understandably very angry - even more so because I had lied about it all those years (5 to be exact). I realized I should have confessed much earlier.

As we prepare for Easter during this season of Lent, one of the things we can do is confess. It's important that we think about where we have sinned (either actively or passively), to ask God for forgiveness (and another if we have harmed another), and to commit to head in a different direction. In Matthew 4:17, Jesus began his ministry by saying we are to repent. To repent means to turn in the opposite direction. When we have sinned, we should confess and ask God to help us head in the opposite way.

Confession is not an easy thing. It means we have to deal with circumstances we would rather avoid - but it is truly the way that leads us along the path of Jesus and towards the celebration of Easter.